10 Habits That Upgraded My Health at Middle Age

From someone that considers homemade chocolate chip cookies one of life's greatest pleasures!

Deep breath… This post has been rumbling around in my head for about a year. Maybe longer, yes, definitely longer. I feel vulnerable writing it, but passionate about discussing it. Health, wellness, fitness, nutrition - all topics that can send every one of us into a spiral. There is guilt and blame and shame all over the place. We’ve all seen someone’s post workout selfie on a day where we haven’t done much or eaten particularly well and it can make us feel like a complete POS. I don’t care what age or size you are, these are topics ripe for comparison and judgement. Society (and social media) is loaded with advice, so why would I want to join the discussion? Because I have no agenda. This isn’t my normal platform (if you will), I’m not selling supplements or trying to become a wellness influencer or gain followers. I’m am just a 51 year old woman (that still thinks she is in her early 30s) and middle age is not at all what I expected it to be (in the best way) so if I can help someone else not fear getting older, or not feel like garbage at this stage of life, then this post is worth it.

Let me take a step back for some context. I want to share a few examples of how we talk to women after age 40….When I was 46, I was at my annual physical and my doctor was running through the normal checklist of questions. When she got to exercise, and I replied that I was still working out regularly, she said, “ good, because at your age you have built all the muscle you will build in your lifetime and now you just have to fight like hell to hang on to it.” When I was in my early 40s I was doing a barre class and the woman next to me, who was newly 50, said, about halfway through class, “ enjoy your waistline while you still have it because after age 45 it’s all downhill.” Regularly, after I post a recipe for a dessert I will get DMs along the lines of, “do you really eat everything you make?” “ how are you able to eat those things and not gain weight?” or “I wish I could eat that.” UGH. To all of it, one giant UGH.

First, I quickly found a new doctor, because false, what she said was entirely false. Second, I still have my waistline. Is it the same size as when I was in my 20s, no, but is anyone’s? And lastly, it really stinks that society has conditioned us to believe that you either get to enjoy food and be overweight or you can deprive yourself and fit into smaller clothing. This is sad.

For me something shifted in my 40s, my choices about what I ate and how I exercised became much more about feeling healthy and physically strong and less about body size. I haven’t lost all vanity (let’s be honest here), but vanity was the driving force when I was younger and now it’s all about how can I feel my best for as long as possible. I also don’t want to be on prescription medication. That includes HRT. This is in NO WAY a judgement to the millions of women that take HRT and greatly benefit from it. What’s right for one isn’t right for all. But if symptoms ever negatively impacted my life, I would be open to trying, I would just prefer to exhaust all natural remedies first. As I started to go through perimenopause in my late 40s, I realized that with the changes in hormones, I probably needed to make some lifestyle changes too. So over the past 3-5 years these are the habits I’ve adopted that I truly think have made the biggest difference in my overall health, both physical and mental.

1. PRIORITIZING SLEEP- I was someone that functioned extremely well on 5 hours of sleep a night for many years. Thank you, motherhood! Around age 48, I had a couple bouts of travel induced insomnia and panicked. I started wearing a health tracker (I currently use an Oura Ring), started taking Magnesium L Threonate and L-Theanine and learning what habits and bedtime routines gave me the best sleep outcomes. Here they are: No late night dinners (I struggle with this one most), give myself time to wind down at the end of the day before I head upstairs (so no late night work or house tidying up sessions), in bed by 10:30, no phone or screens in bed (I charge my phone in another room), journal & read before bed. When I do these things I get optimal sleep. I would say I am consistent about 70-75% of the time and take that as a win. I’ll go through stretches where is get in a bad cycle (watching an addictive new show, staying up late on vacation, an extra busy time with work, etc.) and then I need to reel myself back in. The big difference is now I know how to.

2. EXERCISE DAILY - I’ve had a lot of requests to share my workout routine. I have been working out 5-6 days a week for the last 15 years. I’ve done group fitness of every variety (Barre, Body Pump, HIIT, Kick Boxing, Pilates, Yoga, Dance, Shred, etc). I used to do cardio most days but have added more strength and resistance to mix, mostly just to prove my doctor, who told me I couldn’t build muscle anymore, wrong. Here is a typical week for me:

   MONDAY/TUESDAY/THURSDAY - Lagree

   This a pilates style workout that borrows body building principals. It’s challenging and fast paced and I love it. This class has had the biggest impact from a toning and muscle building perspective for me.

   WEDNESDAY/FRIDAY/SUNDAY - Dance Factory Fitness

   I have been doing these workouts for about 6 or 7 years now. Twice as week I do a follow-along dance cardio class with sculpt sections using hand weights (5-12 pounds) and once a week I do a choreography class which is more dance heavy and less sculpting. This is a local class but is also offered in an app if you are out of town and want to try from home (at a fraction of the in person class cost) This class is an amazing full body workout and because it’s so fun it’s incredible for mental health too.

   EVERYDAY - Walking, I try for 10-15K steps per day and track this on my Oura ring. Sometimes I don’t hit it and other times I blow that goal out of the water, but I do walk consistently everyday. After I had Charlie, I found out he was allergic to milk and soy, so I gave up all dairy and soy (which is in everything!) for 18 months of my life while nursing. When I stopped nursing, I ate like I’ve never eaten before because I had missed so much for so long and I gained about 15 pounds. I lost the weight entirely by walking, and will stand by it, that walking is the single best exercise for weight loss or weight control. I know weighted vests are all the range right now, I don’t have one. Not for any reason, I’m just a slow adopter sometimes.

3. SUPPLEMENTS - I take 2000-4000 IU Vitamin D3 (depends on time of year and how much sun I’m getting), a combo Biotin/Collagen for my hair (not sure it does anything), Magnesium L-Threonate (sleep), L-Theanine, (calming,sleep) 5 mg of Creatine (powder form, muscle and mind) and sometimes a multi vitamin (I really hate the taste, so I’m not good about taking this one).

4. EAT BREAKFAST - I used to skip breakfast all the time! This was a big change for me in the last 5 years, now I try to get 25-30 grams of protein and eat before I workout. There are a lot of benefits - just google. I could get away with intermittent fasting when I was younger, but not anymore.

5. EAT DESSERT - Bet you didn’t expect to see this on the list! Hear me out, I don’t buy soda, candy, prepackaged cookies or bakery goods, but if I’m craving something sweet, I will make it instead. Is this healthy? No, but it’s much better than anything prepackaged. I usually bake something 2-3 times per month. I do eat dark chocolate everyday though. These simple things bring me immense joy and I know that is good for me!

6. HIGH FIBER/HIGH PROTEIN/WHOLE FOODS - Some of the current protein recommendations are laughable and unrealistic. I aim for 30-35g of Fiber and 85-100g of Protein. I could write a whole substack on how I reach these goals and why these are the goals that work best for me. I use My Fitness Pal to track a few times a year just to check in with myself. I’m not neurotic about these things. I believe they are important and make a difference, but not to the point that I’m constantly counting up grams all the time. Obsessing over these things can lead to disordered eating and bad relationships with food. I have also eliminated most ultra processed food, much to everyone in my household’s dismay, because the snack options in the pantry don’t look like they used to.

7. JOURNAL DAILY - I have talked about this so much, but starting a 5 year journal has been one of the best habits I’ve adopted in the last two years. It helps to practice gratitude and give me perspective.

8. MAKE TIME TO LEARN NEW THINGS - Again, so good for our brains, especially as we get older. Mahjong and Reformer Pilates are two examples from the past few years. Needlepointing is next on the list!

9. MOCKTAILS OVER COCKTAILS- I think this one is a big help at keeping some of the more annoying menopausal symptoms at bay (ie. hot flashes). I was never a big drinker but I liked a couple cocktails or glasses of wine (when I was in my 30s) on the weekends. I just cut it all out and I don’t miss it. The data around cancer and alcohol for women is worth understanding. When we were in Spain I made a few exceptions at really nice restaurants, but otherwise it is NA all day for me. Just a heads up, the mocktails in restaurants can sometimes be very sugary. I prefer to make my own. Or just ask for sparkling water with a squeeze of lime and orange.

10. SAUNA - This is newer for me! As in the last few months. I try to go 3 times a week for 20 minutes a session in a dry sauna. There are a lot of cardiac benefits but also good for mood, skin and sleep.

    I could go on and on, but I’ll leave it here. We can chat more in the comments if you like. I love learning from all of you too. I have no idea if this was even helpful or just a long winded statement of the obvious, but I hope it shows that middle age can feel really good, that you can make healthy choices without being obsessive and that it’s never an all or nothing approach. Moving your body, eating whole foods (plant heavy), finding supplements that make a difference and giving your body time to rest and restore is really the secret, if there is a secret. You can also do everything “right” and still get a crummy diagnosis and it’s not your fault. It all about putting yourself in the best position to feel as good as you can for as long as possible! And be gentle on yourself, beautiful bodies come in all shapes and sizes, no matter how hard society is trying to tell us otherwise. I know someone is going to say it’s easy for me because I am on the thin side of the spectrum, and that’s fair, but I still find plenty of faults, dimples, cellulite, wobbly skin, etc, we can be really cruel to ourselves and each other. Life is too short for all that.